I’m new to this whole blogging thing. I’m not really sure I know what I’m doing. So I’m just going to start by telling you a little about myself.
- I am 33 years old.
- I do not have a filter.
- I have twin baby boys.
- I have a husband named Jason.
- We live in New Jersey.
- I hate when things don’t go according to plan (my life)
- I love Facebook, dislike Twitter.
- I have a dog and 5 cats.
- My life is never boring.
- I have great friends although I never get to see them.
- I love my family (sometimes)
- I believe in the golden rule (google it)
- I have no idea what I’m doing as a mom.
With all that said, the last one is what I tend to focus on, hence, my blog will probably revolve around that simple fact.
When I found out I was pregnant, panic set in. I’m one of the boys, never ever identified with the ladies. Sure I’ve had some practice with nieces and nephews, but YOU GIVE THEM BACK! Now here I am panicked wondering what the hell I’m going to do with a baby, and they tell me surprise you are have twins. (15 weeks after I found out I was pregnant). So I spent the next 5 months reading every baby book published. AHHHHH, they lie all of them. Pregnancy was not a beautiful loving experience, and neither was child-birth. I worried about everything and anything. They came 6 weeks early. My worst fears realized. They spent 2 weeks in the NICU, and then came home. They were actually quite healthy considering their early arrival.
THEN THEY CAME HOME. I am not one to ask for help ever. I pride myself on doing it on my own. That was impossible. And i was miserable. They had colic. Any mother knows when your child has colic it makes you insane. Times that by 2 and I was and maybe still am, batshit crazy. There is no relief. there is no escape. There is no drug strong enough help. There is no bridge tall enough to jump from. All I wanted was to be a good mommy, and they kept telling me that I wasn’t. So, with an understanding husband and wonderful mother and sister, we all made it through. The boys seemed not to be affected at all by the 2 1/2 months of hell. So, it’s time to relax and enjoy my baby boys.
Nope, they started teething early. That’s where we are today. They amaze me everyday and every night I pass out in the recliner from sheer exhaustion. I haven’t gone back to work yet and I am counting down the days til I do. Not because I want to, but rather I’m dreading leaving them behind. How am I going to juggle work, babies, and a house. My husband unfortunately has to fend for himself. I figure he’s the most expendable of the lot.
Speaking of my husband, Jason is the most understanding man on the earth. He dealt with my pregnancy. Granted he suffered more aliments then I did. Weird how that works. I’m carrying two little monsters and he’s having morning sickness and food cravings. He dealt with the postpartum. I threatened to stab him in the neck with a fork. I was overwhelmed and he was sleeping. I still think if I had done it, no jury would have convicted me. He now deals with straight bitchiness and an overall lack of hygiene on my part. Don’t judge me! When it boils down to brushing my teeth or sleeping 20 minutes, I’m choosing sleep every time. Speaking of hygiene….
I used to pride myself on not smelling like a dirty hippy. Now, I think they might kick me out of their drum circle. Showering is a funny thing, just when you think now is a perfect time to bathe, a baby wakes up screaming or you realize you don’t have any clean bottles for next feeding, or your husband is complaining that he doesn’t have any clean underwear. If you are wondering why can’t you just bathe when Jason gets home from work, well it’s because he works 3-11pm. By 11:30 at night, I’m done. Pretty much just a pile of drool on the recliner. Since the babies don’t sleep through the night, really I am only a pile of drool for 3-4 hours.
I don’t want anyone to think that I don’t want or love my family, I do…mostly. There isn’t a mother, wife, girlfriend, daughter alive that hasn’t wondered about the man in her life. I’m only assuming the same is true for children. I wouldn’t change anything about my life, I would only add to it. I would add a nanny, a huge pile of money, a chef and a housekeeper.