Yes, I think it is pretty cool to have twins. It’s sorta like a badge of honor. On occasion more like a battle scar, but scars are cool, right? So, I understand that strangers also may find it cool to see twins. I think it is awesome when children realize that there are two. You can literally see the wheels turning in their little heads, trying to figure it out. Their eyes light up and they ask a lot of questions. I totally understand a seven-year old asking. What I don’t understand is, why the seventy year old needs to ask the same questions? Although, twins are still considered abnormal, there are a lot more of them today then twenty years ago. Jeez, almost every family has a set! Here is my list of stupid or insulting questions and my responses to them.
Q. Are they twins?
A. No, they just look exactly alike. / Yes, what gave it away? the fact that there is two of them? / Why? Do you see two?
Q. Are they boys or girls?
A. Neither. But honestly, this is only a stupid question because their car seats are boyish, and most times they are wearing boy clothes. I do understand at 4 months old, it can go either way.
Q. Oh, do twins run in your family?
A. They do not run in mine or my husband’s however they do in my boyfriend’s. This is a loaded question because what they are asking is; did you have fertility treatments? No matter how they got here, it really is none of your business. When was the last time a stranger asked YOU about your sex life?
Q. Are you sleep deprived?
A. Yes, what new parent isn’t? No matter how many there are, babies are demanding. Just a stupid, stupid question.
Q. How do you do it? Usually followed by, I don’t know how you do it, or better you than me.
A. How does any parent do it. You just do. DUMB ASS. And thank you for your lack of support.
Q. Do you have family?
A. No, I was raised by wolves.
Q. Are they a handful?
A. Yes, my hands are always full.
I really don’t mind answering questions of the first five strangers, but after five, I tend to get a little punchy. The places I avoid taking them to are, Wal-Mart, the grocery store, (you have the answer the same questions in every aisle.), and the mall. Safe places seem to be Babies “R” Us, and smaller shops. My thinking is because parents generally don’t have time to stop and chit-chat, they leave you alone. The smaller shops you can gather all the customers around and only answer their stupid questions once.
Just as a public service to all on behalf of all twins, here is a list of phases that are just annoying.
1. double trouble
2. watch out here comes trouble
3. double vision
4. twice the love.
I’m sure there is more, I am just drawing a blank.
Oh, please DO NOT TOUCH MY BABIES. Just because there is two doesn’t mean you can put your dirty paws all over them! When in doubt, hands off!
a twin mom.