How ’bout You Occupy My House.

With the Occupy Movement being dismantled around the country, I thought, if they really want to occupy something, they can come to my house.  I realize that most of the occupiers are jobless.  I have the solution: come to my house and hold a baby.  If that’s not your thing, I’ve got plenty of yard work to be done.  How ’bout laundry?  No?  Bathrooms?  feeding babies?
Of course, you will do this for free because, well what less do you have to do?  You can’t occupy (read, camp out in the elements with an assortment of bums, drug addicts and crazies) in your respective cities anymore.  It seems that your movement lacks a voice and a mission.  I can solve that.  Here are my rules though

1. you must bathe.

2. I don’t want to here about your politics (I really don’t care about you)

3. you must work.  It’s less occupy and more free labor

4. you must bathe

5. women please shave.

6. You will still be camping in the elements. (I really don’t want you sleeping in my house)

7. If you are white and have dreads, you clearly aren’t bathing enough, so you are not allowed in. I know enough about white hair to know our hair isn’t supposed to do dreadlocks.  If you are black, you’re fine.  (mainly because I’m quite ignorant to black hair styles)

8. you must bathe.

I really don’t have anything against the movement, I just see an opportunity to get free help.I assume that you are still unemployed and I have a backyard that you can occupy.  It’s really a win/win.  And if I can get you bathe, it’s a win for society too!  I appreciate your passion and think it could be put to good use, cleaning up dog poop in my backyard.  I am also assuming that you don’t have a problem with poop, considering I hear you guys were pooping in buckets anyway.  So, talk it over, do your finger thing and let me know.

peace, love and death to wall street.


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