I think raising children is hard. Wait, let me rephrase that. I think raising children is the most guilt ridden job in the world.
Every single day I feel guilty about something. For instance, right at this moment my children are watching t.v. while I write this. I should be engaging them in play. They should be doing tummy time, or getting a bath, or trying new foods. Nope, not my babies, they are watching Dino Dan on Nick Jr.
They are quiet. They have full bellies and did I mention they are quiet??? I know this is bad. Very bad. But it’s Friday of a very long week and mommy is spent. I grew up with tv and I turned out just fine. Maybe. Anyway, we played a lot today and I need a nap. I’m not really sure why they don’t need one too.
My least favorite part of having twins is, splitting my time. I always feel like I’m leaving someone out. If you ask my husband, he’ll say it’s him. He’s right. But that’s another post on another day. Alex tends to be my happier baby, so he sometimes gets left to play by himself while, Ben, my unhappy baby, is being tended to. It’s not Ben’s fault, he has really bad acid reflux and is in pain most of the day. Alex suffers from reflux too, just not as severe. I feel guilty because I know Ben gets held more, burped longer, rocked, and spoiled a little more. Alex seems to understand that Ben is more sensitive and needs a little more help, I would like to think that anyway.
I feel guilty when I leave for work. I leave at 5:30 am to get to work at 6.
They aren’t awake yet. I would go in and kiss them good bye, but, if they wake up… So, I go to work without seeing their little faces. It may seem my world revolves around them sleeping. It does. I think it is self preservation. A missed nap means a level of hell that the devil himself wouldn’t want to go to.
So, the last bit of guilt I have in my body is to everyone else. Every party we’ve had to leave early, every plan I’ve canceled because it interfered with a nap and every stranger that has come in contact with us sans nap. I don’t expect your lives to revolve around my children, but please, understand that my world does.