This is my typical day….
6:00 am- alarm goes off.
6:15am- finally get out off bed.
6:30am- make my way into the shower
7:00am- leave for work
7:01am- get to 7-11 to buy gigantic redbull
7:34 am- arrive at work late
1:45pm- leave work late
1:50pm- drive like
asshole to get home.
2:15pm- get home, kiss Jason, fight the urge to kill him, kiss babies an
2:30pm- Jason leaves for work. Redress babies into clothes that match and/or fit. Play with babies for the next two hours.
4:30pm- feed babies.
4:45pm- pray babies take nap
4:46pm- realize that’s not going to happen.
4:47pm- drink second redbull.
5:00pm- beg babies to nap or at least play quietly.
5:01pm- realize there is only two hours and 59 minutes to bedtime. I can so do this.
6:30pm- feed babies real baby food.
6:32pm- come to the conclusion that blueberries are the worst fruit in the world and never use them to make food again.
7:00pm- attempt to clean up blue babies.
7:15 pm- feed babies final bottle of the night.
7:45 pm- fight babies to get pjs on.
8:00 pm- finally win the battle.
8:15 pm- put babies to bed.
8:20 pm- wash bottles
8:45 pm- fold laundry
9:00 pm- clean up living room.
9:15 pm- yell at cats for sleeping in folded, clean clothes.
9:30 pm- sit down on couch realize all the other shit I need to do.
9:31 pm- say fuck it.
9:32 pm- watch dvr’ed The Daily Show.
10:00pm- set Jason up for next day
I.e. get diapers, wipes, meds, toys, bibs together.
10:15 pm- wonder how “is” (meaning my life) happend.
10:16 pm- snap out of it.
10:17 pm- crawl up to bed
11:00 pm- get pissed off because I can’t sleep. Shouldn’t have had that second redbull.
11:30 pm- Jason comes home, hand baby monitor over and pass out.