Be like me.

This is my typical day….
6:00 am- alarm goes off.

6:15am- finally get out off bed.

6:30am- make my way into the shower

7:00am- leave for work

7:01am- get to 7-11 to buy gigantic redbull

7:34 am- arrive at work late

1:45pm- leave work late

1:50pm- drive like


asshole to get home.

2:15pm- get home, kiss Jason, fight the urge to kill him, kiss babies an

2:30pm-  Jason leaves for work.  Redress babies into clothes that match and/or fit.  Play with babies for the next two hours.

4:30pm- feed babies.

4:45pm- pray babies take nap

4:46pm- realize that’s not going to happen.

4:47pm- drink second redbull.

5:00pm- beg babies to nap or at least play quietly.

5:01pm- realize there is only two hours and 59 minutes to bedtime. I can so do this.

6:30pm- feed babies real baby food.

6:32pm- come to the conclusion that blueberries are the worst fruit in the world and never use them to make food again.

7:00pm- attempt to clean up blue babies.

7:15 pm- feed babies final bottle of the night.

7:45 pm- fight babies to get pjs on.

8:00 pm- finally win the battle.

8:15 pm- put babies to bed.

8:20 pm- wash bottles

8:45 pm- fold laundry

9:00 pm- clean up living room.

9:15 pm- yell at cats for sleeping in folded, clean clothes.

9:30 pm- sit down on couch realize all the other shit I need to do.

9:31 pm- say fuck it.

9:32 pm- watch dvr’ed The Daily Show.

10:00pm- set Jason up for next day
I.e. get diapers, wipes, meds, toys, bibs together.

10:15 pm- wonder how “is” (meaning my life) happend.

10:16 pm- snap out of it.

10:17 pm- crawl up to bed

11:00 pm- get pissed off because I can’t sleep.  Shouldn’t have had that second redbull.

11:30 pm- Jason comes home, hand baby monitor over and pass out.



2 thoughts on “Be like me.

  1. Well, honey, now when someone ask you How do you do It? you just hand them this on a piece of paper and smile! You and Jay do a wonderful job parenting. I am so proud of my two children hahaha!!!!

  2. Well done Laura. Keep up the hard work– I can barely handle one, let alone twins. You & Jason are doing a fantastic job!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s