Ok. I know. I haven’t written in a long time. But honestly, can you be mad at me? I have twins. Running tornadoes of destruction. I do realize this excuse only lasts so long.
They have really become their own little people. It’s quite amazing to watch them grow and develop personalities. With that said, I would like to walk you through our latest disaster.
My grandfathers birthday was over the weekend. We didn’t make it up to his nursing home. So I decided to take them by myself on Wednesday.
We get their and I realize I forgot the stroller and the wagon. First mistake. Determined to see my grandfather, I said little boys, we can do this.
I get them out of the car and into the building. They wiggle out of my arms and take off running out the front doors into the street. I grab them, kicking and screaming and we get into the elevator.
As soon as the doors open they run in opposite directions. Choosing to grab the kid going behind the nurses station the other runs into a office. ( why do people leave doors open?). I grab that one and start down the hallway. (Kicking and screaming). Put them down. Pick them up. Put them down. Curse under my breath. Pick them up. A very nice stranger stops and asks if they are twins, I say no. They are clones. She walks away. Another nice stranger stops and asks if I need help. At this point I am sweating. I hand her a kid and we get to my grandfathers room.
They ran instantly to all his medical equipment and start pulling on it. One of which happend to be the feeding tube that is attached to my grandfather. I grabbed them, they screamed. I cursed under my breath. They then ran to all his picture frames, threw them on the floor. Then opened all his drawers, each time, smacking themselves in the head. They stole his blanket off his bed. They crushed goldfish into the floor. They unplugged his roommates breathing machine.
This was the first 15 minutes. At this point, I was sweating, cursing, and apologizing to my grandfather. Trying desperately to keep it together. I failed, I know I did.
At this point, I am just trying keep myself from locking them in a closet. A nurse walks in, asks if they are twins. Again, I say no, they are 2 years apart. Why would you ask? She leaves. Poppy laughs. I give him our present. He loves it. It makes my day and makes this all worth it. I look over, they are playing in the trash can. I give up.
My mother shows up, I thank god. I decide its not going to get any better and its time to leave.
I pick up one she picks up the other. Someone asks as we walk down the hallway, are they twins? I say nothing. I want to smack them. We keep moving. Boys kicking and screaming. I am still sweating. I breathe get in the car and pray that I never have to do that again.