I have a vagina.

I have a vagina.  I like the fact I have a vagina.  It has served me well over the years.  Sure it has its down falls.  And up until recently, I thought my vagina, was well, mine.  It is attached to me and all.  I am responsible for its up keep and making sure she is healthy.

I really didn’t think much of her.  I mean, its not like I have vagina on the brain or anything.  Then, came an election year.  All the sudden, she was everywhere.  Vaginas, vaginas, vaginas.  And I thought, wow, my vagina just became a political pawn to win votes.  She is WAY more important then I thought.

Then powerful men, started saying stupid things.  It got me thinking, why aren’t we discussing penises.  My husband has a penis, he is quite fond of him.  Wonder if I told him that he wasn’t really allowed to make decisions for his penis, how he would react?  I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t like it. (Side note: I asked him, he didn’t like it ). Or if I told him how to care for his penis, given, I don’t have one, would he be offended?   Again, I’m pretty sure he would be.  (Again, yes he was)

So why is it men I don’t know, and certainly don’t know me, want to control my vagina?  They want to tell me what to do with her, how i should maintain her, and whether or not she should pop more babies out.  I’ve got to be honest, there are no more babies popping out. (Another side note: technically she didn’t pop them out.) And I certainly wouldn’t want a man, that isn’t my husband, telling different.  For the record, until my husband can pop babies out of his penis, this factory is closed. 

So, this November I am voting for the party that doesn’t have a vested interest in my vagina.  Call me old fashioned, but one man rooting around down there is enough for me.

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The three best things that never actually came out of my vagina.

Laura….

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16 thoughts on “I have a vagina.

  1. You are sooo funny Laura. I love you for saying that the way you said it! Yes, lets tell those crazies on Election Day to LEAVE OUR VAGINA’S TO OURSELVES! Those last two lines were killers-laughed so hard!

  2. When it comes to reproductive rights the feminists have assured that men have only one which is to pay financially for the consequences when his female partner chooses to assert her rights irregardless of his wishes.

    1. Let me tell you how and what to do with your penis and we will see how you feel. Oh wait, you don’t really give a shit how we feel as long as you feel like you are in control. By the way, I am not a feminist. I am a human being that believes in human rights. And by human rights I mean all people not just the ones you feel deserve them.

      1. Actually I’m a human rights activist who resents living with a fully loaded gun up against his head – put there by the state on behalf of women – with the hammer cocked back and my wife’s finger on the trigger. I suggest you pay a visit to your local family court and watch the many men being hauled in there against their will who are then raped by the so called love of their lives of their children, home and hard earn money. Only then will you come to understand why your claims of men controlling women has no merit and that in reality its women who control men.

    1. Susan my wife not only has a vagina she has more sense in her little toe than you have in your entire body. She did marry me – after all – nearly 31 years ago!

  3. Even if you don’t consider your self a feminist, this was a great feminist post :). There are definitely some really daft men in power trying to legislate things they know nothing about. Sometimes they are not even able to say the words VAGINA! UTERUS! Don’t get me started on the horrible attempts to redefine what rape is!

    1. Feminist: A member of the feminine gender who promotes the murder of an unborn child in its mother’s womb while aiding and abetting those women who chose not to abort to use their children as pawns in order to control and steal the financial resources of the biological father.

      1. Hey your welcome. Thank you for reminding me how happy I am to have a vagina. Apparently, having a penis can make you completely and utterly moronic. I’m glad I could help you along that path of ignorance.

  4. Terrific post and an interesting angle, er, point of view, er. Nevermind! Strange men can just stay out of my bedroom thank you!

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