Boys are gross. I would never dream to do some of the things they do. I would never dream of eating the things they eat. Never. Maybe its just my boys. I don’t think so but maybe.
I just picked a ladybug wing off Alex’s chin. It presumably fell off while he was eating the rest of her gross little insect body. Why? Why would anyone want to eat a bug? Ok, you are in a survival situation and a ladybug is the only thing you can hunt and kill. I get that. I don’t get why my child ate one while sitting in my living room watching Peppa Pig.
My other gross son, Ben, ate poop. Yeah, this is the most disgusting of all my stories. I was changing Alex and Ben reached over and grabbed a steaming handful of poop, ate it, then looked at me. How do you clean a baby’s mouth out after he eats poop? How do you look at him the same way? I can tell you the answer is, you can’t.
They fart and think it’s funny. It seems to be way funnier if they fart on each other, and the funniest when they fart on me. Side note: their father also finds this hilarious. I don’t.
They pee on each other in the bath tub. I find this completely counterproductive. They seem to be riveted by their penises. Awesome. Great. Just like their dad, uncles, cousins, and friends. Why are boys like this? I never seemed to care about my vagina. Nor did I ever think it was funny to pee on a girlfriend. In fact, I have never farted on another being, ever.
Could this just be my boys? I certainly hope not. If it is, I blame their father.