All I wanted to do was take a bath after the terrible went to sleep. I don’t think that’s an awful desire. Don’t we value cleanliness in this society? I haven’t taken a bath since they were born.
Convinced they were asleep, I started to run the water. Got undressed and put an extremely fragrant Lush bath bomb in. Finally, a little me time. I step in the tub, and the moniter goes off.
Alex: mommy, mommy, mommomomomom.
Ben: ma. Ma. Ma!
Alex: mommy, daddy, I hurt.
I get out. Soaking wet, I run in their room. Flip on the light, and instantly get annoyed.
Alex: hi bye! Mommy.
Me: Alex are you hurt? What happened?
Alex: bath? Mommy?
Me: I was trying, but you said you were hurt.
(Alex holding out his hand)
Alex: it hurt.
Me: carefully looking at his hand, I find a hang nail.
Me: you are fine. Go to bed.
Me: yes, ben the thing you are jumping on.
I leave. Go back into the bathroom and add more water. Silence. Yes. They are asleep. As I’m about to get back into the tub, a loud crash and crying.
I run back in to find Ben stuck under his bed and Alex sitting on top of it.
And this is why I am insane. This is also why I gave up on doing anything for myself.