Shit moms of twins say.

20 things I’ve said today.

1. Get your foot out of the dog’s water bowl.

2.  Give your brother his diaper back

3.  Give your brother his shoe back.

4.  There are no more bubbles because you dumped them on the ground.

5.  I’m sorry that dinner isn’t cooking faster.  Next time I will tell it to cook faster.  Is that ok with you, Prince?

6. I’m sorry you have to put clothes on.  It’s kind of a requirement to go outside.

7.  If you keep throwing water out of the tub, you will never take a bath again.

8.  Throw the ball to the dog, not at the dog.  What did I just say? You are lucky she has a head as hard as yours. 

9.  I see you found dirt.  Wonderful find.  You are a genius.

10.  No daddy is at work.  No daddy isn’t sleeping.  He is at work.  Trust me, I wish he were home too.

11. I love you more than you will ever know but you are working my very last nerve.

15.  Sure you can have an apple. 

16. You just asked me for an apple!

17. No, you can’t have a different apple.  Eat the apple I just gave you.

18. Please stop crying.  Fine, which apple do you want?

19.  No you may not have sugar.  No.  I said no.  No. No. No. No. No.

20. It’s time for bed.  No.  We can’t go outside.  It’s dark out.  No.  I can’t make it be light out.

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