10 things I never thought I would say until I had kids.
1. Get your finger out of your butt.
2. Get your finger out of your brother’s butt.
3. What did his (insert Jason, Alex, or Ben’s name here) poop look like today?
4. Listen sweet pea, we have to wear clothing when we leave the house.
5. Listen sweet pea, you need to wear pants when you leave the house. (Jason, you are an adult; you should know better.)
6. Please stop riding the dog.
7. Please stop licking the floor.
8. Please stop licking the dog. While we’re at it stop licking the couch too.
9. Why are you sniffing the cat’s butt?
10. No the kitty doesn’t need a diaper. Nope, neither does the doggie.