The newest game all the cool kids are playing? Walk your brother like a dog. The things the terrible did while I was at work…. 1. Knocked over the flowers that were on the kitchen table. I know this because half the flowers were still on the floor when I came home. 2. Got into … More You Want My Life.
5 noises that make me want to curl up in a ball and hide under the bed. 1. The toilet flushing and my not yet potty trained children are nowhere to be found. 2. Giggling followed by a crash, followed by belly laughter, followed by a crash and finally, screaming. 3. Silence. Silence followed by … More The Scariest Noises You’ve Ever Heard.
There comes a point in every mother’s life when they have to ask some hard questions. I think those questions vary by which stage of motherhood your in. Right now I’m in the, “oh god I don’t really want to know the answer,” phase. Here’s a sampling of questions I hate to ask. 1. What … More Who, what, where and why?
Ways my home is like a fraternity. Oh let me count the ways… 1. On any given night there is male genitalia on display. Usually in the form of streaking… 2. Not one male in this home knows where the toilet actually is. They have the general idea, yet never seem to aim well enough … More Animal house
An open letter to Mr. Clean. Dear Mr. Clean, I love you. Let me be more specific…I love your magic eraser. As a mother of twin tornados that love all things crafty and messy, you are my hero. See just the other day the tornados were painting. Let me paint that picture for you. Two, … More A love letter to Mr. Clean.
It’s 9 days into 2014 and I already have a few confessions to make. 1. During the polar vortex I couldn’t figure out why the heat in my car wasn’t really working. It was because I had the AC turned on. 2. I am totally cool with the terrible running around in diapers (soon to … More New year confessions