New year confessions

It’s 9 days into 2014 and I already have a few confessions to make.

1.  During the polar vortex I couldn’t figure out why the heat in my car wasn’t really working.  It was because I had the AC turned on.

2.  I am totally cool with the terrible running around in diapers (soon to be underwear) all day. Less clothing to wash.

3.  When they used the potty for the first time, last night, I was a little sad.  My two, terrible two babies, are becoming my two, terrible two big boys.

4.  I like this weather.  Don’t get me wrong, the summer months appeal to me way more but it is winter and DAMNIT! it should feel like it.

5. I have no idea what is going on in the world right now.  After cranky and spanky go to bed, I watch the The Real Housewives, and fall asleep. 

6.  I made no resolutions this year, not because I don’t think I should, but because, I don’t have the time to think about how I won’t keep them.  Then the energy wasted worrying about why I didn’t keep them.  Then energy to be angry at myself because I failed.

7.  I haven’t shaved my legs this year.

8.  I still haven’t finished sending out Christmas cards because I ran out of stamps and keep forgetting to buy them at the store.

9.   I want to go to the bathroom by myself.  Alone.  I don’t want to have a conversation, be handed things to fix, or have to yell while I’m pooping.  Is that too much to freaking ask?

10. Alex started using the word crap.  Using it correctly.  I’m not sure whether to be mortified or proud that he picked up on context clues.

Have any new year, new you bullshit confessions?

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3 thoughts on “New year confessions

  1. Ha! You are hilarious! Two of my New Year’s confessions:
    I didn’t even attempt a single homemade ANYTHING for my girls’ upcoming 2-year-old birthday party–not a thing! No Pinterest for this mama…
    I’ve finally accepted showering every other day…daily showers are overrated.
    Thanks for making me laugh!

    1. Pinterest is for suckers! I haven’t handmade anything, ever! In fact every time I go onto pinterest I get mad. Like really angry that someone, somewhere took the time to make something out of toilet paper rolls and glitter. As for showering….every other day tells me you’ve got this parenting thing down! Sorta jealous

      1. Ha! It did take a while to get to the every-other-day showers…but in the newborn twin days of unpredictable weekly showers, when I’d hit the third day post shower it never really was as bad as I expected…kind of like camping with more spit up and baby poop and less sleep…

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