Animal house

Ways my home is like a fraternity.  Oh let me count the ways…

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1.  On any given night there is male genitalia on display.  Usually in the form of streaking…

2. Not one male in this home knows where the toilet actually is.  They have the general idea, yet never seem to aim well enough to make into the large bowl.

3. My home smells like farts and spoiled food.  Every.  Single.  Day.

4. The spoiled food smell usually is coming from a food fight that happened days, weeks, possible months before.  (Silly me, I forgot to check to see if there were meatballs stuffed in that closet.)

5.  If it is gross, smelly, loud, and/or will annoy me; it is the coolest, greatest thing in the world.  Bonus points if it has the potential to make me have to pop a xanax.

6.  Food fights are a daily if not hourly occurrence.

7.  Rule one: if they say it’s dangerous, DO IT, DO IT NOW!

8.  Daily avoidance of doing anything that involves putting pants on.

9.  The poop discussions are endless.

10.  Woman are drawn to them by cuteness, and then sucked in by their charm.  But then so happy when they leave.  Feeling lucky they got out alive.

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