The things the terrible did while I was at work….
1. Knocked over the flowers that were on the kitchen table. I know this because half the flowers were still on the floor when I came home.
2. Got into the junk drawer (don’t pretend like you don’t have one) and apparently were playing with screws. I know this because I stepped on one as I walked into the house.
3. Smashed Oreo cookies into the carpet. I know this because I am staring at the carpet right now
4. Got into the upstairs bathroom and used my black eyeliner to draw on the wall. Much to my surprise I found a mural clearly made by two year olds as I closed the door.
5. Emptied the contents of my underwear drawer down the steps. Nothing quite coming home and finding your lacy thong hanging off the banister
6. Found pens and drew on themselves. They appear to have been trying to make prison tats.
7. Covered each other with the creme from the Oreos. I’m assuming they did this before smashing the cookie parts into the carpet. There is still creme stuck in their hair like hair gel.
8. Ate some kind of chips. I know this because the chips also appear to be on my kitchen floor.
9. Made a pillow fort in the living room.
Guessing so jumping off the couch would be safer.
10. Rode our dog, Lucy, like a horse. I’m only guessing on this one. She won’t come downstairs and I can only assume that they are the reason why.