This is my purse. I bought it at Target on clearance for ten dollars. It seemed perfect at the time, cheap, big but not too big, and I could wear it across my body. Wearing a purse across my body is extremely helpful while chasing the terrible through hallways, stores, and grassy fields. It is big enough to stuff two diapers, a small pack of wipes, and matchbox cars into but not so big that I’ll lose important things like my sanity. Or so I thought.
After rummaging through my amazing practical cheap purse for 10 minutes looking for my keys, I just dumped it out.
This is what I found.
What the hell is wrong with me? Why do I have toilet paper in my purse? Or coupons that expired last year? Why am I carrying around plastic cutlery? At no point in time have I ever needed a plastic spoon.
Why am I holding onto candy wrappers? (I’m usually hiding while eating said candy so this makes sense now). Why am I carrying makeup? When do I plan to do touch up while I’m out? I really don’t need another ponytail holder, as my hair is always already in a ponytail. (My niece Taylor pointed that to me one day). Clearly she understands that I gave up.
Seriously? I piss myself off sometimes. There are two crayons. Well really one and a half. I believe Ben ate the other half.
Notice the two bottles of prescription medications. They are a pain reliever and xanax. Wonder why? Face masks that I bought, which I’ll never use….awesome.
This was my purse before children. Cute, small and free of toilet paper.
And this is after. Huge, cheap and filled with crap my children find outside.