The black hole

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This is my purse.  I bought it at Target on clearance for ten dollars.  It seemed perfect at the time, cheap, big but not too big, and I could wear it across my body.  Wearing a purse across my body is extremely helpful while chasing the terrible through hallways, stores, and grassy fields.  It is big enough to stuff two diapers, a small pack of wipes, and matchbox cars into but not so big that I’ll lose important things like my sanity.  Or so I thought.

After rummaging through my amazing practical cheap purse for 10 minutes looking for my keys, I just dumped it out. 
This is what I found.

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What the hell is wrong with me?  Why do I have toilet paper in my purse?  Or coupons that expired last year?  Why am I carrying around plastic cutlery?  At no point in time have I ever needed a plastic spoon.

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Why am I holding onto candy wrappers?  (I’m usually hiding while eating said candy so this makes sense now). Why am I carrying makeup?  When do I plan to do touch up while I’m out?  I really don’t need another ponytail holder, as my hair is always already in a ponytail.  (My niece Taylor pointed that to me one day). Clearly she understands that I gave up.

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Seriously?  I piss myself off sometimes.  There are two crayons.  Well really one and a half.  I believe Ben ate the other half.

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Notice the two bottles of prescription medications.  They are a pain reliever and xanax.  Wonder why?  Face masks that I bought, which I’ll never use….awesome.

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This was my purse before children.  Cute, small and free of toilet paper.

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And this is after.  Huge, cheap and filled with crap my children find outside.

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