I love my children. I love my children. I LOVE MY CHILDREN.
A 24 hour break was not long enough though. They walked through the door whining, crying, and fighting. The hitting, screaming, and tempter tantrums were not missed. In fact, the overall miserable attitudes they have had over the last three weeks were not missed. Also not missed, peeing on the toliet seat, waking up at four in the morning just because, croup, ear infections, and especially the demand to “WIPE MY BUTT”.
You never realize how low you are on the totem pole until you are being barked at to wipe someone’s ass. Even when asked nicely to wipe someone’s butt, it is still quite sad. Apparently, being three years old entitles you to not have to do anything for yourself, (unless it is something you actually can’t do yourself).
Moral of this story: mommy needs a vacation. A long vacation on a beach with a young handsome waiter bringing me stupid fruity drinks with umbrellas in them. Bonus points if those drinks come in a coconut. Even more bonus points if the young, handsome waiter doesn’t speak English and doesn’t own a shirt.