The completely unscientific experiment

The mommy guilt is real.  The mommy guilt is a real thing and I suffer from it.

I have been going out and doing things for myself as of late.  I have been dealing with my issues, I have been drinking at bars with my friends, and I have been unapologetic for it.

But the mommy guilt is still there.  It’s there because I’m not used to thinking about me.  Thinking about what I want, what I need.  My life over the last three and half years has solely revolved around crank, spank and Jason.  The three men in my life doing for themselves isn’t pretty.  In fact, it’s down right dirty.  Dirty dishes, dirty laundry, dirty floors…and I feel guilty.

But I don’t think I should feel guilty.  Does Jason feel guilty when he goes out?  Does he bogged down with thoughts of what’s going on at the house while he’s having fun?   Does he worry about the dishes, the laundry, or the pee on the toliet seat?  I really don’t think he does.  If he does, he does an awesome job of hiding it.  I admire that.  I’m not mad.  I’m envious.  

The ability to stop thinking about what’s going on at home and just have a good time is a skill.  One that I do not possess.   To not talk about kids, to not worry about if the house is burning to the ground, to not think about all of the things that need to get done tomorrow may just be a x chromosome characteristic.  

The completely unscientific survey I conducted shows all mothers having the mommy guilt.  We worry.  We worry sometimes irrationally about our children, our husbands and our lives.   The fathers on the other hand, seem to know how to turn it off.  Of course they worry.  They have a lot of the same fears but they can turn it off.  Hence the completely unscientific study concludes, the x chromosome enables the father to go out, have fun, and enjoy themselves without guilt.  I have never wanted to be a man, until becoming a mother.

image

~~~~~~~~See all the worry.~~~~~~

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