Hungover Parenting

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Me after a night drinking

 

 

I have a few tips to do your best mediocre parenting while hungover because well, I’m an expert.  Trust me, there are actual pictures. 

1.       The TV is your friend.  Just turn it on Nick Jr. or the Disney Jr. network and get comfortable on the couch.  It will entertain them for at least a half hour.

2.       Make up a game that requires very little energy on your behalf.  Example: Lay on the floor and tell them it’s ring around the Mommy.  They will run circles around you and all you have to do it stay still.

3.       Bring the snacks to them.  Tell them it’s movie theater day and bring everything into the living room so you don’t have to get up.  Pop in their favorite movie and close your eyes.

4.       For those of us with more than one kid, play the game who can be quietest longest.  This guarantees at least five minutes of silence.

5.       Bribe them with candy.  For each nap you let Mommy take, you get a piece of candy.  Just make sure the candy is small – Think M&Ms.

6.       Drink lots of fluids.  Because even though you aren’t cleaning today, you will have twice the work tomorrow.

7.       Play hide and seek.  Hide in your bed, shut the door and lock it.

8.       Remind them that the word of the day is quiet.  Ask them to demonstrate the word.

9.       Have them read you stories.  My boys can’t read yet, so the stories take quite the humorous twist.

10.   Last one: Lay on the floor again.  Tell them you are pretending to a statue.  Convince them to be statues too.

 

It’s all about quiet and keeping them entertained with very minimal effort on your part.  I have to assume if you have only one kid, it is harder but I believe it can be done.  If you follow these ten tips, you are on your way to being the best mediocre parent you can be.  Happy drinking this holiday season.

It’s all about quiet and keeping them entertained with very minimal effort on your part.  I have to assume if you have only one kid, it is harder but I believe it can be done.  If you follow these ten tips, you are on your way to being the best mediocre parent you can be. 

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